Lawrence Welk incites grandiose delusions — I grew up in the Lawrence Welk era of television. That makes me a card-carrying Baby Boomer. As a kid, I viewed Lawrence Welk as a weird old guy who talked funny. …

It’s not as easy as it used to be — When our vacuum cleaner began blowing dirt out instead of sucking dirt in, it was time to part ways. I carried it to the curb on garbage day and within seconds it was a distant memory. Little did I know replacing a vacuum would be so annoying. Granted, the last…

The kiosk is stupid — When did it get annoying to order an Egg McMuffin at McDonalds? Let me rephrase that — when did it get even more annoying to order an Egg McMuffin at McDonalds? Recently, I took myself on a lengthy road trip. I love road trips so eight hours one way is…

An eventful day at the beach — When I was a kid, my best friend Bonnie went to Florida every summer with her parents. I was so jealous I could barely stand myself. If she was going to Florida that meant she’d come back with a tan and a boyfriend. Everyone knew the boys were cuter in…

Does common courtesy extend to big honking diamonds? — Just wondering, when someone is sporting a JLo-sized diamond ring — should you comment or be cool and pretend not to notice? …

Of course, I had one, didn’t you? — Barbie and I are close in age — one of us is a smidge older, but I’m not divulging which one. My Barbie was special, at least that’s what my mom tried to make me believe. …

TikTok’s creepy mind-reading inspires transformation — They say when you reach a certain point in life you start to truly appreciate stuff. Well, I’m there. And the stuff I’m truly appreciating is makeup, or “war paint” as my mom used to call it. There was a time when I never left home without being fully made…

Old habits die hard — Back in the day, I supported myself through college by working as a waitress, now known as a server. We didn’t care what they called us — it was all about the tips. My meal ticket — literally — was Bill Knapps, a popular family restaurant a 5-minute drive from…

Ever been mooned at a truck stop? — Surprise, surprise, for most of my life, I’ve never given semi trucks much thought. I’ve viewed them as big honking road hogs. I do appreciate their role in getting my late-night impulse buys to me without Hubs noticing, but beyond that, the trucks or their drivers seldom crossed my mind. …